Issue No. 12︱Monday, May 27, 2024

Why did that meteor have to hit?

How did we get here? Really, I mean, how did we? How did we get here? You're telling me the Earth has gone through billions of years of transformation just for it to be killed off in a few hundred years because of the industrial revolution? Really?

You’re telling me we probably wouldn’t be here if that meteor hadn’t hit that fateful day millions of years ago. And even with the meteor hitting, we still managed to prosper, survive, and make it to this point. And for what? Taxes? So my mammal ancestors managed to hide out in their little tunnels when the dinosaur extinction happened, went on to evolve to what I am today, and I can’t even drink water without having to pay for it?

This amazing planet was created from a collection of coincidences, and we don’t even want to believe in it or appreciate it. We’re just willing to toss it aside because we don’t want just a little bit of change or a little bit of inconvenience. We are willing to risk our lives and the future of every species' lives just because we’re comfortable with where we’re at. We're willing to let companies raise our monthly subscription constantly, but we’re not willing to fight for, like, I don’t know, basic human rights?

Is this really how it’s supposed to be? Are we really at this point where nothing really even matters anymore and we’re willing to let it all just go to waste because we don't feel like fighting for anything? How much more is it going to take before people finally start to break? Will it be when we can’t even breathe the air outside? Will it be when we're probably going to have to pay for clean air to be pumped into our homes? I mean, really, how much more are we going to take?

I know for certain we’ll have to pay for air in the future because it was revealed to me in a dream. If you didn’t know, I actually have the ability to see and travel to the future in my dreams. Everything I have predicted has come true because I said so. You don’t actually need any evidence other than my word. So get ready, because soon the air will no longer be free. I’ve tried to warn you now, but I doubt you’ll heed my warning.

Maybe humanity should fail. Maybe we don’t deserve clean, free air. If we humans die out, the earth can reclaim all that we’ve destroyed. Maybe eventually, millions of years from now, a new species will form. One that appreciates all the planet provides for them. If only that meteor didn’t hit that day. If only the dinosaurs could’ve kept ruling the earth. Maybe we humans wouldn't be here, and the planet would be thriving right now.

But who cares about any of that? You’re here for dinosaurs, so let’s discuss dinosaurs. I like those little guys that ruled Antarctica during the mid-Cretaceous period. What’s your favorite dinosaur? Better figure it out quick because Dinosaur Day is June 1st. 

Evolution vs Creationism

It seems evolution makes me feel more appreciative and connected with the earth, while creationism makes me feel selfish and like my life and this planet doesn’t matter.

When learning about evolution, it makes me say, “Wow, what are the chances all of these events have happened and brought us here to this very moment?” The earth has endured so much and has created all of these amazing, unique species, all of these plants, and all of these beautiful landscapes. It makes me want to protect this planet and keep it thriving long after I'm gone.

All of these billions of years have gone by, and here we are, an evolved species. What are the chances of us making it here at this very moment? If just one little thing had gone differently, say that meteor didn't hit the earth and wipe out the dinosaurs. There’s a good chance we wouldn’t be here right now, and it’s just amazing how everything has happened and here we are.

Then you hear about creationism, and you’re taught that the world and humanity were created for a specific function, like you're basically just a higher being's experiment; you're literally like a sim being played by a sick individual. The reason you exist is to gratify this being by believing certain things or behaving a certain way so you can have a better afterlife.

The life you have right now doesn’t actually really matter because it’s only a temporary vessel for your infinite life after this one. It makes me feel selfish, like I’m not connected to the world because this is just a temporary place for me to be. I need to focus on myself and figure out how I can secure that perfect afterlife.

If you have a whole lot of people believing this way, it seems you just have a group of selfishly behaved people because each person wants to have a good afterlife, so they’re willing to screw over and do what-ever they want or whatever they need to get that afterlife, whether or not it harms another person.

It seems it can create status within society by saying that one group is better than the other because they believe a certain thing versus what other people believe. With evolution, we're just monkeys that have evolved with unique brain waves. We’re all in this together, and we need to take care of the planet because it’s a physical home that you actually know is real and will continue to house the future of humanity and all the other species.

These are just my thoughts; please don’t come for my head.

AI Earth Should Not Exist

Now, I am not one to completely hate on AI. I understand the appeal. It’s interesting. I get it. It can be a useful tool in some circumstances, but when it comes to AI generating images or art, that’s when it’s crossed the line for me. When AI is used to replace human creativity, creativity is specifically a human trait, so when that’s taken away from us and it’s just stagnant, dull images that are being created by ones and zeros, I can’t handle that.

When it’s used as a get-rich-quick scheme or to exploit again, I can’t handle it, but of course that’s all AI is going to be used for because it seems a good majority of humanity is just naturally evil and greedy. And some just want to feel that sweet feeling of accomplishment without putting in any actual effort because they just don’t seem to understand what art really is.

Since it seems inevitable to come across AI art in the wild, I just say I’m not interested, skip over it, and go on with my day, but there’s one type of generated image that really just rubs me the wrong way: AI generated nature photos.

This shit pisses me off so much. As someone who loves and adores the natural world and finds it astonishing just the way it is, to see fake-generated images of nature, what the fuck is that? Why do we need that? The earth is already a mind-bogglingly beautiful planet, and I don’t see any value in generating fake images of it. How about you just go outside and look around?

I Didn’t Know Cybertrucks Were Real

It ruined my day when I saw one.

The day it happened had already been a strange one. That morning, I found myself doomscrolling for a few hours after I woke up, seeing the normal bullshit you see when doomscrolling. The next thing I saw was the chip that Elon Musk is implanting in people now, and I could only think, "This isn’t going to go badly at all. There’s no way this is going to be used in a harmful way.” Let's just say I was already feeling bitter and a little upset at the direction humanity is heading. So when I was driving later that morning and saw a goddam cybertruck pass by me, I was ready to flee into the wilderness and never return.

First of all, what the fuck was that? I immediately knew it was a cybertruck, but I just didn’t know that they were real. The last time I heard about them was that dude throwing a rock at the window, and it shattering. I didn’t know they were actually created. Secondly, it just pissed me off, knowing that someone would actually buy it. They’re just putting more money into Elon Musk‘s pocket, which feels icky to me. Why buy it and prove that this fucking idiot can do and create whatever he wants? You’re just an enabling a madman.

Musky boys, please don't come for my head.

First Grade

First grade is when I learned how to spell orange and found out you can open a stapler.

Celebrate May 

Celebrate the last week of May by participating in these really fun and exciting holidays!

Protect that wonderful skin of yours on Sunscreen Day, May 27th.

Slip on those flip-flops for National Flip-Flop Day on May 29th.

Let the world see those odd protruding pieces of tissue sprouting from your gums this May 31st for National Smile Day.

Mon-Man Month

Starting June 1st, it will be not only Lemon Month but also Mango Month. Celebrate by getting some lemons and mangoes, and do whatever you do with lemons and mangoes. 

BAN BILLBOARDS

To celebrate National Billboard Day on June 1st, we should ban billboards everywhere. I don’t want to see your dumbass ad while I’m trying to enjoy the earth's natural beauty. Fuck you. Let's get rid of billboards. 

Thank you for reading the blugg newspaper.