Issue No. 16︱Monday, June 24, 2024

What is this strange desire?

Before I really get down into the trenches with my thoughts, I’d just like to say that I know that living in a post-apocalyptic world would actually suck big ass. I’m thankful for the world I live in, even though it could be better. Though sometimes it feels terrible to live in. There’s just something about society as we know it falling to pieces and humanity having to start from the bottom again. How nature could reclaim its throne and the earth could heal itself. So with that in mind, let’s dive into the evil thoughts in my mind.

Could you imagine? Could you imagine waking up and walking outside into your own little world? The spot you picked to settle down at was one of many. You could choose any place you wanted. You wouldn’t have to buy or rent to live somewhere; the concept of money is gone. You wouldn’t have to work for money just to be able to survive. You’d have to work for yourself to survive. You wouldn’t have to worry about rules or regulations; you could literally do whatever you wanted.

Of course, this comes with its own consequences, assuming you’re not the only person left in the world. It would truly be like the wild west. Or maybe the reason the world was brought to an end was something catastrophic. Maybe most of the planet is just about inhabitable, and you have to live in a bunker or avoid natural danger. Maybe there’s dangerous creatures lurking around every corner. Really, most of the ways the world could end wouldn’t be ideal to live in. If humanity did survive, it’d probably end with groups of people trying to survive who are ready to do anything to survive. It’d probably be like most of the post-apocalyptic shows you see today.

But what if it wasn't like that at all? What if the world ended in the most ideal way possible? What if everyone just disappeared? What if you really could do whatever you wanted? Now, this part is really going to sound like an advertisement, but it’s not. What if the world-ending happened the way it did in The Last Man on Earth? If you haven’t seen this show, it came out in 2015 and was unfortunately cancelled in 2018—more on that later. It stars a man who is believed to be the last man on earth, months after everyone has died from a pandemic. He can do virtually whatever he wants, and that's exactly what he does.

Yes, the first episode ends with him wanting to die from loneliness, but let’s not get into that. The point is that he can literally do whatever he wants. Doesn’t that seem appealing? I can think of a million things I could do with no one around. Really, it could just be me. A normal person would see a post-apocalyptic world as a nightmare. They can live their lives perfectly fine in the world we have. I don’t want the world to end or everyone to disappear. It just seems nice to be able to live life without the current structure society has. Eventually, in the show, the main character forms a group of people, and they live somewhat peacefully together. I guess I don’t really crave the end of the world, but rather a sense of community.

Now, with that out of the way, let's talk about this show. It may have sounded familiar when I said the show takes place after everyone has died from a pandemic. Even though this show came out in 2015, it takes place in 2019. That’s right about the time a pandemic took over the world in real life. I originally watched the show as it came out, but recently rewatched it. Watching it post-pandemic feels a bit surreal. What if the outcome had been similar to the show? When I watched the show back then, I couldn’t even imagine something like that happening. It feels strange thinking back to that time, not knowing at all what the future had in store.

This show had an untimely end. The last season ended on quite the cliffhanger. I now know what the creator had planned for the show, but I can’t help but think of all the jokes and funny moments we missed out on.

Want Your Family to Disown You?

This is the official blugg guide to getting your family to disown you.

We all know families can be irritating. They may be so irritating that you just wish they would disown you. Well, we have the perfect way for you to accomplish that. All you need is social media. Why communicate with people in real life when you can make them believe they know who you are based on the photos you choose to share? Do you see where we’re going with this? You can choose to share whatever you want, whether your family likes it or not.

If you really want your family to disown you, you’re going to need to know what will make them do it. What is their political stance? What beliefs do they have? Whatever it may be, you’re going to want to post the opposite of that. Post photos of yourself going to places they would never go to. Repost articles that disagree with what they believe in. Say things that you know would bother them. You need to show them that you’re not who they thought you were.

This method is great for someone who doesn’t want to come right out and tell their family how it is. It’s a great way to avoid confrontation, assuming that your family won’t talk to you in real life about the things you have been posting. If that’s the case, then we give you our luck, but most likely it will end with them gossiping to each other about how you’ve changed. At most, maybe they’ll think you’re a different person, and the evil of the world is what corrupted you. But hey, at least you didn’t have to look them in the eyes and tell them that you don’t agree with or believe in any of the stuff they do. Who knows how that would've ended. Wow, social media is great; we can all communicate without any consequences.

I’m Stuck on This Planet

And yeah, I’m pretty upset about it.

Now, that doesn’t mean I dislike this planet; no, I adore this planet. Thank you for giving me a home baby girl. It’s just that sometimes I think about how I have no other option. It’s usually when I’m feeling a little down about how the people in charge are running the world. I think it would be nice if I could go somewhere else. Then I think, "Well, what if I don’t like it there either?" Then I start to wonder if I would ever actually like it anywhere on earth. It seems no matter where I go, my problems will follow me.

Yes, this is probably just a deeper-rooted problem. You can’t outrun your problems when they’re in your head. So really, if I were able to go to another planet, I’d still have some of the same thoughts I do here on earth, but sometimes I just really wish I had another option. Maybe a planet respected by its inhabitants, not one that feels like a dystopian hellscape.

What other planets could be out there? Are there really other living organisms out there with their own way of life? or are we all that there is, being played by some disturbed individual? Is the universe really infinite, or is it all a delusion? Sometimes I like to think we’re living in a simulation, something like the Truman Show. If you go out far enough in space, you’ll eventually hit a wall, and behind that wall is an advanced species. They’ve been controlling everything since the beginning of time and are seeing how everything will play out.

Pollinator Week

June 24th - June 30th

Save the bees, or you will quite literally die along with everyone and everything you love.

Upcycling Day

Got an old glass bottle you don’t know what to do with? Well, on June 24th, maybe you can find a new use for it for Upcycling Day. Try reusing unwanted items.

National Day of Joy

June 26th

It’s National Day of Joy! Today, do whatever brings you joy. Personally, for me, being off social media brings me joy. You can’t do anything that will make you frown. There should be nothing but smiles all day. You have to be joyful. There’s no excuse. Feel joy, or else.

Social Media Day

June 30th

Social media has changed the world almost overnight. Most people can’t even imagine what their lives would be without it. You can now communicate with anyone, anywhere in the world, with ease. While that seems like a great benefit, social media has turned into much more. Whether that turn is actually a good thing, it’s happened nonetheless. If you love social media, then today is your day, but if you’re like me, the more you're on social media, the more you want to run away to the woods.

The World Existed Before You Did

For more information, visit the Ancient Earth web page.

Thank you for reading the blugg newspaper.