Issue No. 20︱Monday, July 22, 2024

Better get to playing.

Does your life feel like the beginning of an indie farming game? Where it shows you, the main character, feeling unamused with life, longing for a life that is more fulfilling? You’re stuck at a dead-end job working everyday just to stay afloat. There’s no passion in you whatsoever, but you keep it up every day hoping something more, better, will come your way. You stare outside every chance you get and can only imagine what else lies out there. What else could you be seeing right now? What experiences could you be having? Is there any point to this life?

You stare at the sky, hoping for an answer, but to no avail. The next thing you know, your mind is back to your mundane work. This feeling comes over you every single day. One second you’re waking up and the next you’re going back to sleep, only for the days to repeat in the same fashion over and over again. You don’t know if you’ll ever be able to shake this feeling, but the days continue on.

The next thing you know, a month has passed, then a year, and those thoughts and feelings are still there. They have a death grip on you. Even when you have a good day and feel like nothing could bring you down, those feeling creep their way inside, and just when you thought your life was making progress, you’re brought back down the square one. Will it ever end?

Once the years have gone by, you’ll look back to where you are right now and wonder how it all came to be like this. Maybe you managed to break free of the rut, but most likely you’ll still be in the same position you’re in right now. Not even glimmers of hope for the future can save you from the dark reality that you will always be stuck. You can plan and daydream about your life for the next few years all you want, but it doesn’t change anything. Those are just fantasies.

These fantasies of yours can help you escape the dullness of your life for just a little bit at a time. Maybe even a dream will come your way and you’ll wake up thinking things can get better. Then later that day, you’re reminded of the harsh reality. How long can these daydreams suffice you? Can you go five more years thinking everything will be sorted out by then? What happens if five years from now you’re in the same exact spot you’re in now? Will it just be another five years of imaging what your life will eventually be like?

Is life really like a game you’re playing wrong? Don’t you wish you had some kind of manual, some guidance on how you’re supposed to live? All of the not knowing what’s around the corner bugs you. How are you to know what choices you’re supposed to make? You’re in control of your own life, but really, how much? There’s a million other factors that others control that dictate how your life is lived.

But is that what life is really all about? Not knowing what you’re supposed to do? If you knew, for example, when you were going to die, would you be able to peacefully enjoy the days leading up to it? Or would the constant worry of not living your life to the fullest eat at you? At least with not knowing, even if you do spend a day doing nothing, you don’t worry too much about it because if you die tomorrow, you wouldn’t know it, and you’d be able to enjoy your laziness.

Even if you don’t want to play the game of life, or feel like you don’t know how, it’s important to know you do exist, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. As long as you’re satisfied and on your deathbed you can say, “I’m ready”. Maybe that’s all that matters.

New Year, Same Me

Different year, same interests.

Each year passes with a new number, but the feelings stay the same. It could be the middle of summer or the beginning of winter. It doesn’t matter when; it always happens. The feelings and desires from past years come forth and persist in the mind.

You may not notice it at first, but once a few days or even weeks go by, you still have this strange desire to, for example, go back to a house you once lived in. You don’t understand why this feeling nags at you until you realize it’s the time of year you moved there 5 years ago.

Sometimes these feelings can overwhelm you, even tempting you to go back to that house and see what has come of it—to feel the way you felt when living there. You never actually fall victim to these notions, and before you know it, the seasons change and a new, past feeling arises.

I Love Being Miserable

And you should too.

I love spending hours after I wake up lying in bed and scrolling through the rose-colored posts of everyone’s lives. I love how it makes me feel like my own life isn’t worth living—how unappealing it is. Seeing how happy they all are while I feel miserable is what I look forward to every day.

Living off artificial foods and keeping my body malnourished is what gives me energy—how delicious the food is, yet how terrible it is for my body. I refuse to drink water; how bland it is. I need something flavorful, something that will give me energy, since I refuse to eat the natural foods that would give me it.

Oh, how I love spending each and every day in front of a screen instead of experiencing the wonders of the outdoor world. A digital life is what I prefer over a real one, one where I can control what happens; I couldn't bear living real life with real obstacles. I don’t want to grow as a person; I want to be gratified instantaneously. I love being miserable, and you should too.

Elevator Chat

I know I wasn’t supposed to say anything to her. I’ve heard all the dangers that come with it, but I didn’t even think she was real, so when she stepped in the elevator on floor 5, I couldn't resist and I asked how she was doing.

The way she craned her neck at me was enough to scare anyone, but the look on her face suggested she wasn’t going to do me any harm. She just simply asked why I had spoken to her, to which I replied that I can’t help starting some chit chat. Her demeanor then changed, and she spoke some more, having to clear her throat often. She told me that so many people have always ignored her, and she didn't know why. This whole time she was just waiting for someone to start a conversation with her.

She was one of the most pleasant people I have ever met. She told me she has always been shy and when everyone began ignoring her she didn’t want to be a bother to them, so she kept quiet. Once we made it to the 10th floor and the other dimension, she led me to her place. We went inside where she cooked me a delicious meal and we got to know each other. I made a new friend that day. So maybe next time you’re in an elevator, try talking to whoever is in there with you.

Silly little sleepy head can never stay awake. Better be up by 7AM lest you end up in the lake!

Vanilla Ice Cream Day

Vanilla ice cream. Possibly one of these best “classic” ice cream flavors. It’s so versatile and even on its own, it can still pack a punch. Treat yourself to a vanilla cone this July 23rd unless you're lactose intolerant.

Drive-Thru Day

July 24th

Wow, I can get food without having to leave my massive vehicle? Sign me up! I love being disconnected from the world and not having to eat in a communal space. The more I can shelter myself in my expensive hunk of metal, the better! Bring my food out promptly. I don’t want to sit in this long line!

Marine Week

July 24th-August 8th

Yes, Marine Week is actually two weeks long, but we need to talk about marine life for more than a week. We need to always be talking about marine life. The ocean is one of the most polluted parts of our planet and thanks to daddy corpo that will probably never change, so say goodbye to the beauty of the ocean and the diverse life it holds.

Aunt and Uncle Day

July 26th

Aunts and uncles. The people that are sibling to your parents. The people that give you cousins. The people that can give you dirt on your parents, unless your parents are only children, then well… if it weren’t for aunts and uncles, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy may have never ended up getting together.

Day of the Cowboy

You may not like cowboys, but maybe the ones you’ve met were FAKE cowboys. Where are my real cowboys at with those cowboy ethics? Show yourselves this July 27th.

Waterpark Day

July 28th

These are supposed to be tube slides, but for the love of god they do not look like it.

Thank you for reading the blugg newspaper.