Issue No. 19︱Monday, July 15, 2024

Here you go. Here’s the list.

You’d think it wouldn’t be that hard to have a story that starts with the letter K. It’s not like it’s the letter X after all, but here we are. With the lack of a story, we instead give you a comprehensive list of words that start with the letter K. Some of these words you may not have even heard of before. So you might learn something new today! Congratulations! Though these are just the words, the definitions are not included, so what any of these mean beats us. You’re on your own for that part. We hope you enjoy.

Keratinizations, kaffeeklatsches, kittenishnesses, kindergarteners, kindheartedness, kinesthetically, kremlinologists, knickerbockers, knightlinesses, kindergartners, kindergartener, kremlinologies, kremlinologist, knuckleballers, karyotypically, kapellmeisters, keratinophilic, keratinization, keratoplasties, knowledgeable, kindergartner, kaffeeklatsch, kaleidoscopes, kaleidoscopic, katzenjammers, kapellmeister, kindheartedly, kindergartens, kinematically, kinesiologies, kinnikinnicks, knickerbocker, kittenishness, kleptomaniacs, knowledgeably, knowingnesses, knuckleheaded, knuckleballer, kindergarten, kaleidoscope, keratoplasty, katzenjammer, kinnikinnick, karyokinesis, karyokinetic, karyokineses, karyological, ketosteroids, keyboardists, keratinizing, kindlinesses, kinglinesses, kinetoscopes, kinetoplasts, kinetochores, kinesthesias, kilocalories, kitchenwares, kitchenettes, kitschifying, kleptomaniac, kleptomanias, knightliness, kneecappings, klutzinesses, knottinesses, knuckleheads, knucklebones, knuckleballs, kremlinology, kwashiorkors, kymographies, kinesiology, kitchenware, kitchenette, kindhearted, knucklehead, kleptomania, kinesthesia, kinetoscope, kwashiorkor, kinetoplast, kinetochore, knucklebone, kilocalorie, ketosteroid, ketogenesis, ketogeneses, kettledrums, kerseymeres, kerplunking, keypunching, keypunchers, keystroking, keyboarders, keyboarding, keyboardist, keratitises, keratitides, keratinized, keratinizes, keelhauling, karyolymphs, karyologies, karyotyping, karyogamies, kalsomining, kallikreins, kilogausses, kilohertzes, kiloparsecs, kimberlites, killifishes, kibbutzniks, kickboxings, kieselguhrs, kinetosomes, kinesthesis, kinesthetic, kineticists, kinetically, kinestheses, kingfishers, kinematical, kinescoping, kinkinesses, klebsiellas, kitschified, kitschifies, kittenishly, knighthoods, knifepoints, knickknacks, kneecapping, knackwursts, knuckleball, knockwursts, knobkerries, knockabouts, knotgrasses, knowingness, kolkhozniki, kolkhozniks, komondorock, kookaburras, kookinesses, kymographic, kingfisher, knighthood, kimberlite, kinematics, kickboxing, klebsiella, knifepoint, kindliness, knockabout, kookaburra, knickknack, knockwurst, knackwurst, kibbutznik, kettledrum, kenspeckle, knobkerrie, kieselguhr, kinetosome, keratinize, kerseymere, karyolymph, karyologic, karyosomes, karyotyped, karyotypes, karyotypic, kazatskies, kazillions, karateists, kaolinites, kaolinitic, karabiners, kaliphates, kalsomined, kalsomines, kallikrein, kanamycins, kabbalisms, kabbalists, kairomones, kaiserdoms, kaiserisms, kalanchoes, kerplunked, kernelling, kerfuffles, keratomata, kerchieves, kerchiefed, ketonemias, ketonurias, kerygmatic, keybuttons, keyboarded, keyboarder, keystroked, keystrokes.

I Love My Personal Chef

They make every meal even tastier!

Life with a personal chef will make you wonder how you ever lived without one. It’s wonderful to have someone else complete the mundane task of cooking for you. And if your chef is as attractive as mine, it makes the meals taste even better.

The first day I met them was one I’ll never forget. The way their third eye glimmered as they looked at me. Their beautiful blue bumpy skin was a tint I’ve never seen before. Their loud, foreboding voice was music to my ears. How my heart fluttered when they described to me the skilled meals they could make: cocoa worms with a slimy powder flower coating or the savory bone marrow of a 20,000-year-old glopper served with seeds from the core of one of the furthest planets.

With every meal they make me, I fall in love even more. They truly do put love into their creations. I will never again be able to eat another meal made by someone else. Every time I take a bite, I can just imagine the way they must have stirred the ingredients together with their spoon, crafted from ancient magic. How hot the flames underneath their hovering pots must have been to combine all these wonderful flavors! The best ingredient of all being, of course, my personal chef.

Oh, to Ride a Horse

A lifetime longing…

The desire had been inside her for as long as she could remember. From childhood, when she saw all the other kids gallop on their pretend horses, she wondered what it would be like to ride a real one. Everyone around her was familiar with the experience; they knew what it was like to ride one of these magnificent creatures.

She could only imagine what it must feel like to sit upon the beast. What it would feel like to speed through an open field with the wind flowing through her body? The connection she would make with the creature she sat upon, trusting it with her life. She had heard about the connection one could have with a horse and how they could really get to know you. She longed for a connection like this—for human and beast to trust each other to the fullest extent.

Oh, to ride a horse. To be able to travel the great vast lands peacefully with a companion you can fully trust. How great would it be to discover a new, beautiful place and learn all it has to offer? One can now only wish to do something like this, for everything has been seen and everything has been stolen. But just imagine what it would be like. Respecting the culture of the places you discover and soaking up all the natives could teach you—all the things you could learn. Imagine if things could be done peacefully.

Orange Chicken Day

Speaking of ordering takeout, you could add some orange chicken to your basket. It’s orange, and it’s fried chicken. What more could you ask for? Sink your teeth into this delish, sticky dish this July 15th.

Fresh Spinach Day

As that big forearmed guy once said, uh, umm, eat spinach. Now, did he mean fresh spinach? Or was he just the mascot for a corporation trying to sell you some canned spinach? Who knows, and who cares? That guy loves spinach, and so should you! Though I don’t trust him personally, and I’d rather have fresh spinach... You can decide for yourself if you want the canned stuff or the fresh stuff this July 16th.

Toss Away the ‘Could Haves’ and ‘Should Haves’ Day

July 19th

Could have, should have, shut the fuck up; the past is the past. Now, that was quite a rude thing to say, but really, does anything good come out of dwelling in the past? Perhaps you should toss away all those possibilities from before and think about all the possibilities you have now. There’s no way to go back to the past, but you can still think about the future for now…

Moth Week

July 19th-27th

Holy shit, it’s Moth Week. Please, please spend some time this week outside at night with a light on so you can witness the greatness of moths. Just keep an eye out for the moth of death. You really don’t want to run into them. (I don’t know what the moth of death even means. If you do, please tell me; I need to know. Why is there a moth of death?) Holy shit, I can’t believe it’s really is Moth Week.

Lollipop Day

Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolli Lollipop Day! Get your taste buds ready on July 20th for a sweet treat. Grab yourself a lolli and lick it till it’s gone. Then get another, repeat, and repeat. If you keep it up all day, you’re sure to have no feeling in your tongue by the end of it, but you can finally say you truly celebrated National Lollipop Day.

Fortune Cookie Day

July 20th

Answer this question carefully. Would you rather plan out your life based on how you want things to be? Or live your life the way a fortune cookie tells you? I think the answer is rather obvious: fortune cookie. So why don't you go ahead and order some takeout so you can figure out what your next life move will be.

Thank you for reading the blugg newspaper.